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You find yourself losing friends, more and more. It's harder to get on with people, including your parents. You wish your parents would notice you're not ok although you don't want them to fuss. You want help but you also want to be left alone. You worry that people think you are an attention seeker by contanstly looking upset so you try to smile and keep happy, but you get down when you get home, when nobody is watching. You actually do become quite paranoid. You could do with someone to remind you you're beautiful and tell you that's everything is going to be alright. - but nobody is there. You feel so alone. You have recently been feeling an overhelming sense of nostalgia. You hate growing up. You want to be young again. You desperately want to go back in time. You'd change something if you could. You wish you'd never met that one person. You want someone to come back who never will. You get home, get under the covers and cry. Sometimes you wish you were dead. You feel guilty for wishing you were dead, as there are many people who are dying who don't want to die, and just wish that they could stay alive. Some days you need to listen to music, other days you really don't want to. You love walks in the rain.You watch romantic films then get back to boring reality. You want to change so much about yourself, maybe about yourself completely You find yourself smiling and laughing less. You hate the word "depressed". You constantly feel miserable..